Maybe I am a sucker. Maybe I care too much. Maybe I am OVERLY-concerned. Isaac began preschool on Monday; I left him there, perfectly happy, no problem. THEN yesterday and again today, he had to be peeled from my body and forced to stay as I left. OF COURSE, he calms down eventually and does well (so I am told) but this doesn't lighten the load in my heart.
I have always felt that forcing situations upon a child is a bit degrading. Do you know what I mean? Like forcing them to eat EVERY bite on their plate. Or forcing them to do a sport that they wish to quit. Or forcing them to be someone they aren't. I feel that if it isn't life-threatening, and you have done all you can to encourage, support and try to remedy the situation and it STILL isn't working, then possibly the child should get their way. I am still in the 'encourage, support, remedy' phase, so hopefully all will work out. But, until then, the mojo has moved on. I worry for three hours I could be working. I don't know what I should do.
If you would like to share a comment or suggestion, please do so! I am looking for ANY tips out there from moms who have had their kids in preschool situations similar to this one. (If you know Isaac, he has a speaking/communication development problem, so getting him to talk about what is bothering him is kind of not an option at this point.) SO, should I bribe? Should I threaten? Should I give him a week? A month?
Don't let that look deceive you. He isn't that innocent, believe me.
HELP!
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4 comments:
Nicole, I am right there with you. That is exactly how Griffen acted when he went to preschool. And after I would finally leave the teacher would call me and tell me he was fine. Just hang in there because it does get better!!
Have you ever thought about homeschooling? You would be assured Isaac would be getting the attention, plus he wouldn't be upset about leaving you -- it's hard for kids to learn if they're upset. Just a thought -- it could be an option to explore. I've homeschooled both of my children and they love it.
Preschool does teach the basics, but Isaac has that now. I enrolled him in preschool to help him gain independence AWAY from me.
NO, I will not homeschool. IF Isaac had a disability where I felt it would be a disservice to HIM to be in public school, then I would consider it. BUT, he doesn't. AND especially after seeing what my nephew is going through right now just entering school after being homeschooled up to 7th grade, I would even have to question it. Isaac has all the attention he needs when he is at home with me and the other three kids are at school in kindergarten, first and senior in H.S.
He is fine now (didn't cry at all yesterday). I feel it is inappropriate for him to just get his way and have me give in because he would rather be home. He needs to understand how to be social and how being around other people 'works', not to mention find and learn some groundwork on independence and fending for himself. This is the only reason why he needs preschool.
He is very smart and already knows his numbers, colors, letters, can count past 10 and knows a few words by sight, so for the most part, socially is where his weakness is.
As for homeschooling, my sister is awesome, her kids are seriously SMART, testing way above average in all of the testing in their state, but socially it has been VERY hard, not just because of other students, but because of the teachers, too, (believe it or not). I honestly didn't expect the teachers to not be workable with newly-entering past-homeschooled kids. ESPECIALLY when the jerk-science-teacher who is giving my nephew most of his problems has HOMESCHOOLED KIDS HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just think homeschooling is not the answer to his pouting for 4 minutes after I leave him with two teachers and three assistants and 20 other kids to play with. Thank you for the suggestion, it is appreciated! Blessings, Anonomous!
Nicole, it sounds you have a lot of the answers when I just read your last response here. I'm a mother of a 21 yr old daughter and a 17 yr old son. My son was the same way. My daughter was happy to run off to the day care and preschool whereas my son would just sob. My daughter accepted everything happily and my son had his own timing for acceptance, including people, food, learning; everything was a struggle the first 5 years. I patiently led. My daily, no hourly mantra became "This too shall pass." I did what was necessary. I left him at the day care, preschool, regular school while he cried or whimpered and I felt badly all the way to work. If he didn't feel like eating, I didn't worry.
Today, he is a healthy,loving, happy, & very intelligent 17 year old who still doesn't communicate all his feelings but I attribute that to his gender and age. He fits in with his age group and adults. He's never had major authority issues because we've never forced food or sports & that sort of thing. I completely agree with you on letting a kid have some say when its not a big issue. Pre-school, school and college to our children is mandatory. Its life. You gotta do it and they know it. We don't push the little things and so we win the big battles. Jake is now very out going and loves to BBQ for his friends and company. He plays baseball on the school team and is in the top 5% of his class. I never would have thought any of this possible 14 years ago. Yes, there was bribery of $1 store toys; yes I threatened to take away trips to the park, but I hung in there while he whimpered and cried and didn't give in because I knew it was what had to be, knowing he would learn to enjoy himself at school. By the way, his room is still a mess, but I just don't look. Just because I have certain opinions on how I like things, doesn't mean others should have to share that. So, I guess he's okay with it messy; that's one less battle to fight.
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