Thursday, October 2

The NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

They will also attend cubs, brownies, sea cadets or similar.

There is no fast food.

Each man must:
take care of his 3 children with nightly baths,
keep his assigned house clean,
correct all homework,
and complete science projects.

He must also cook nutritous meals,
do laundry,
handwash delicates,
run items to the dry cleaner,
NOT forget to pick them up,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week, keeping in mind what each child will and will not eat according to their likes and dislikes.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a hair appointment,
doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a trip to the pharmacy while the child is ill.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to A & E.

He must also make gingerbread men or chocolate cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house;
planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times,
INCLUDING WINDOWS.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must:
shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn themselves with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished
and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe abdominal pain,
persistent lower back aches,
and have extreme, unexplained mood swings,
but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend:
weekly school meetings,
concerts & plays,
church,
and find time at least once a week to: spend the afternoon in a park or a similar setting.

They will need to
read a book to the kids each night
following their bath which will only be deemed successful as long as:
the child is not scalded or frozen by inappropriate water temperature,
the child does not get soap or shampoo in their eyes,
AND they remember to wash behind the child's ears.

AND in the morning, they MUST:
feed them,
fix their lunch,
dress them,
brush their teeth
and comb their hair by 7:00 am so that they may:
run the children to school ON-TIME.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:
each child's birthday,
height,
weight,
shoe size,
clothes size,
teachers name,
best friends name
and doctor's name.
the child's weight at birth,
time of birth, length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear
and
what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...
he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18 to 25 years EVENTUALLY earning the right to be called Mother!

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Howdy!